Hi dear friends, my buddies, pals, confidants, (new & old alike!)
It has been a week since I made an entry. I have had mega AOL problems, Now everything seems to be working okay. I still don't know WHY I got this version, but now that I can get into my Journals again, I am NOT changing back to 9.(whatever it was) Optimized. I have had so many people (all nice & well meaning) tell me that 9 whatever Optimized was the latest AOL version. (I am talking of the "paid" kind not the free version.) I just had this thought, what if this is the free version?? I don't want it then. What this version says it is is AOL Desktop. I am a lot of things, but never claimed to be computer savvy! Okay, enough of the what if's, I am DOING an entry!
I feel as if I am a different person than the Merry before the flood. I realize now (my family) was lucky compared to so many people that lost everything! I truly thank Our Heavenly Father, for every day. I know you may read this and think. "My friend Merry really "flipped out," but I think I just had a wake up call. I honestly feel that sometimes we are sent tragedies to make us grow stronger, and hopefully become better people! And in turn, this makes us become better friends to those people who touch our lives.
I will be 64 in November. Usually, I don't talk about age much, because I don't like to. The truth is I am too vain. (I have never been one to take it as it comes, I have fought it every step of the way!) But, still fight it or not, IF we are LUCKY, & LIVE, age happens! Perhaps, getting older isn't so bad, if it finally has allowed me (after all this time) to feel comfortable in my own skin! So, I truly am going to TRY to make the most of my days. Each day is a gift & we can choose to fill it with fear, *I do have Generalized Anxiety Disorder + all the stuff on my "All About Me. column. I think I will be changing that, too. After all, those disabilities are not who I am, they are things I have, but they aren't all that I am as a person! They are misfortunes that I have to deal with it. But the bottom line is this....EACH DAY IS A GIFT. We are allowed 24 hours each day. How we spend it is really up to us! Sometimes, we cannot find much to feel grateful about, but most days, if we REALLY look and see how much we have, I think most of us can (if we make the effort) really realize how blessed we are. I have so much, and I am grateful for every bit of it. I am not talking about financial positions, or lack of them. I am talking about "REAL" life, real friends, real family. I live in a "real" town, a nice small town, should I spend my time looking for what is wrong with it, or should I spend my time realizing I am part of it and try to make it a better place?
The same is true of our lives. We only get one. I don't think anyone goes through life without adversities along the way. Sometimes we are able to sail through hard times, but sometimes, we get stalled "in the flood water." However if we just STOP & THINK, we just fall down. We must get up, shake ourselves off and the be thankful! We we are bigger and better people for everything we are forced to deal with in the space of our life.
Today, I am happy to report we are about 85% done with the flood drama, and what is left are things I have to go through to see what effect the dampness had on them. That will take time. But as far as I know, I have that, so that is "no problem!" We had our basement decontaminated. We have a roof over our heads, and many things that make our lives easier. So many people in our town, in our state, and actually, in the Midwest, lost everything! We just been inconvienced. We are lucky! Others are not. That really isn't fair. But to be honest, I am very thankful that we came out of this as well as we did. We lost things, not people; & we didn't actually lose much $$ wise. Really, the costs that we had were for the trash guys to come and haul junk that needed to go anyway, away & for the basement to be professionally sanitized. What we lost can be replaced if we want to do that. I don't understand why some people have huge losses and we don't. That isn't fair, yet I can't lie....I am grateful for everything we have! Mostly, I am grateful for the people I love & I am so lucky to have a wonderful immediate family, and good, true, cherished friends that dear to me. I also want to let my readers know I do see that I am lucky and that I KNOW that!. I do see that God has blessed me with family love and the love of good, dear friends. You friends who matter MOST, know who you are, and you know you are truly dear to me.
I also feel comfortable in my own skin. I know this is fleeting, everyday will not be a happy day for me. I did not go through any born again experience, but I do think my "wake-up call" has made me think. The things that matter are not things you can buy. No amount of money determines how many friends you have, or how strong your faith is. As my Mom use to tell me "Happiness comes from within." And so, for today, I have to tell you all, I know I am blessed and luckier than so many people. For the gift of life, I thank God. For my friends that I have I thank God. For those of you who came "out of nowhere" but gave me strength, you sustained me through a hardship; and I THANK YOU! I love those of you who did that for me. Even if I have never met you, I do know you and I love you. I don't need to be financially well off, (although that's always nice) :). I know people who have much more than I who are miserable; I know people who have so many less than I do, and yet they are very happy people. They reached out and touched my life with caring and kindness. I don't need to list names, those of you that I am talking about know you are important individuals in my life. I actually think If I could fill my life with more people like you, and in turn be here to help you in your lives; Then, in fact, no greater legacy or wish could I have.
NORMAL: This is what life is becoming again now for me. I thank God for each and every blessing He has bestowed upon me & you, my Journal friends are precious beyond words, to me.
For all of you, I hope you have a "NORMAL" life. That is what I wish for you. If you don't, work at it. I tell you, "normal" is wonderful, and it's what I wish for each of you. Work at becoming and staying "normal!" Pray for it. If I can help any of you who helped me, just call out my name as the song goes, "You know wherever I am, I'll come running to see you again, etc." (James Taylor). Bye for now!
With Love Always,